Do you want to be a super human or a superb human being?

Emotional Maturity ( EI Tips)

The famous statement, "I think; therefore, I am," by the Western Philosopher, Rene Descartes, is often referred to by all intellectuals who want to keep the human spirit on the pedestal of Intelligent beings. Man has long been defined as a rational social animal. No doubt, What sets a human being apart from the rest of creation is his sixth sense....that is his rationality and power to discern the right from the wrong. In all languages the word Intellect, intelligence, intellectuals are premium words. They all refer to the human capacity to think & infer, to grasp & associate, to remember & recall, and to discern & to decide. For ages past, this capability and quality of a person was judged by the measure of the IQ factor that is his mental age as a factor of his real age. The world renowned scientists and computational engineers like Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates are said to have an IQ score of 160, and the man who is planning SpaceX today, Elon musk is said to have IQ score of 155. You will be surprised to know that a few children who are below 13 are said to have an IQ even higher than those greats! For instance Freya Mangotra a 12- year-old (from Birmingham, USA) and Anushka Dixit, an 11-year-old (from India) are said to have an IQ score of 162 at this age!

It is said that human intelligence consists of 7 different types and by their cumulative score anyone is assessed to be an intelligent person.

7 types of Intelligence are:

• Linguistic. Enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.

• Logical-Mathematical. Interested in patterns, categories and relationships.

• Bodily-kinesthetic. Process knowledge through bodily sensations.

• Spatial. Ability to Think in images and pictures.

• Musical. Ability to understand, to enjoy and create music with rhythm.

• Interpersonal -Ability to connect and communicate with other human beings and ability to build and sustain relationships.

• Intrapersonal- Ability to be alone, to become self-aware and to withdraw oneself into one’s cave of the heart, often reviewing and reflecting on one’s life.

Undoubtedly in the past era, the measurement of IQ had been a great help in education, training recruiting and deploying personnel into many roles and responsibilities, be it in industry, service, defence, and scientific laboratories. But the question is, “Is that enough today?” The answer is ‘A very Big NO!’

We Need IQ, EQ, SQ, and AQ

According to modern psychologists, there are four LEVELS of intelligence:

1) Intelligence Quotient (IQ)

2) Emotional Quotient (EQ)

3) Social Quotient (SQ)

4) Adversity Quotient (AQ)

1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ): This is the measure of your comprehension ability", sharpness of your mind, to make right judgment, ability to solve mathematical problems, capacity to memorize and recall subject matters.

2. Emotional Quotient (EQ): This is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others, to keep to time; to be responsible; to be honest; to respect boundaries; to be humble, to be genuine and considerate.

3. Social Quotient (SQ):

This is the measure of your ability to build a network of friends and maintain it over a long period of time, being comfortable in large groups and be able to make even strangers feel at ease.

A man of high IQ can end up being employed by a man of high EQ and SQ even though he himself has only an average IQ. Success in life is not guaranteed to the one with high IQ! It may be noted that people having higher EQ and SQ tend to go farther in life than those with high IQ but low EQ and SQ.

Most schools usually give attention to improving IQ level while EQ and SQ are being played down. Don't teach children only to have higher IQ. A blend of all three would make a successful person! Hence give in to habits that will improve these three Qs, more especially your EQ and SQ.

Your IQ represents your Capability for hard work and smart work perhaps!

Your EQ represents your Character for your stability and dependability;

Your SQ represents your Charisma to influence people in your way for common purposes.

In a nutshell, IQ makes one a good subordinate, but EQ and SQ make one a better Manager.

Now there is a 4th one : (A new paradigm )

AQ represents your grit and determination to make you a warrior who never gives up nor gives in but fights till the end believing he is the winner! He believes that Neither Defeat nor Death is the end but only a phase or a passage!

4. The Adversity Quotient (AQ):

It is the measure of your ability to go through a rough patch in life and come out without losing your mind. AQ determines who will give up in face of troubles and may even abandon their families.

In the current context of Corona, many professionally successful people are going through bouts of Depression. Because they haven't seen this magnitude in any of the challenge before nor have they ever imagined and thus they are totally unprepared for Adversity.

To Parents and Teachers:

Expose children to many other areas of life than just academics. They should learn to adore manual work, sport, art, partying, trekking, ventures and explorations, willing ‘to make their feet dirty’ or ‘even soil their hands’.

Go beyond the medieval focus, however glamorous once it might have been, developing only IQ for your children; Develop also their EQ, SQ and AQ. They should become multifaceted human beings, able to do things independently of the parents or teachers. Give them a chance to learn to walk, even by falling, falling many times. Remember, it is not falling, but learning. Adversity should not cull their spirit but should be strengthened to face the world. Nurtured by hope and self-confidence, they should strive forward towards their goals. For a warrior, to keep fighting is his only mission, in which he can never be defeated. Deaths and defeats are immaterial!

“Dear Parents, do not prepare the road for the children. Prepare the children for the road”( a road that is often untread before)

Here are a Few Tips for loving parents and adorable teachers to ponder over in their mission of building lives. Please try to instill in children by ‘walking the talk’! We definitely owe to our kids to give them a fair chance to create, reconstruct and revel in their lives! Wholesome human development is our aim.

1. You stop blaming other people for how they’re treating you. Instead understand that they probably have their own fears and anxieties driving what they do.

2. You start to see that most things in life aren’t black and white, but rather many shades of grey. You begin to look at issues from multiple viewpoints and you’re less steadfast in the perspective you thought was obvious at first. “There is always much more to it than what meets your eyes”!

3. You can admit that – quite remarkably – you don’t have all the answers. So you can get things wrong from time to time, and you realize that if you’ve been wrong before, you may be wrong again. The phrase “I don’t know” is something you may use more often. Rather than running away from this phrase, own it, it paradoxically brings you a sense of calm.

4. You stop thinking that you’re so unique and special all the time. You understand that while we are all indeed unique and special in our own way, every one of us is so. But still remember, Life becomes a little richer when we look for what we have in common as opposed to what separates us. Celebrate the common and respect the difference! You revel in building relationships with others based on a sense of camaraderie and sisterhood. You feel a deep sense of connection with people around you.

5. You feel confident not by thinking that you’re better than people all around you, but from seeing that ultimately, we are all ignorant fools. You see that the most confident people around you wear masks to stop people from seeing the ignorant fool within them. You feel compassion for these people while also allowing your confidence to grow, not needing to be anyone but yourself.

6. You stop suffering from impostor syndrome, because you don’t accept that anyone else gets to tell you what’s legitimate. You know that we’re all just trying to act a role in some way, so you may as well embrace whatever role you’re currently in. There is no difference in what people do, but there is only difference in people who do!

7. You stop trying to be perfect at everything you do. You realize that you learn the most from your mistakes, and you are better off living a life at the edges of your comfort zone which results in an imperfect life. It is OK. You begin to take pleasure in doing your best rather than needing the result to be so perfect all the time.

8. You forgive your parents because you know that just as you’re not perfect, neither are they. You no longer hold yourself to such high standards, and you no longer hold your parents to these same standards. You know they have done the very best with what they were given. You love them for who they are imperfections and all.

9. You stop blaming others for the situation you are in and instead start to see the challenges you face as learning opportunities. The situations you find yourself in often weren’t created by you. This doesn’t please you anymore. You’re more interested in improving the situation you’re in – and helping others who are in the same situation – than playing the blame game.

10. You realize that actions speak louder than words. You know that it’s easy to say the right thing in many situations, but it’s much more difficult to do what you say you’ll do. You understand that the best way to build a relationship with someone is not to tell them how much they mean to you, but to show them through your behaviors.

11. You stop blaming yourself for what’s gone wrong in your life. You understand that you had a different idea 10 years ago about what your life would be like when you’re at this age. You start to accept where you’re at and see the beauty not just in all of your accomplishments but also in the many things that have gone wrong.

12. You become comfortable in your own skin. You don’t feel the need to look any different than how you look. You don’t want to be more intelligent than how smart you already are. You don’t want to have a different personality than the one you’ve got. You celebrate what makes you, YOU, while appreciating people for who they are as well.

13. You become a little more pessimistic about how things will work out. Please understand that this isn’t being negative. It’s seeing the potential downside, so you can prepare for it. You become a little less idealistic, and in the process become a more tolerable and balanced person to be around. As the saying goes, “Hope for the Best and be prepared for the Worst!”

14. You no longer berate yourself for feeling fear and anxiety. You understand these emotions are key signals alerting you about something that needs to change in your life. You allow yourself to fully feel these emotions so they can drive you to action. Don’t be overpowered by them but channelize them for a purpose! You let these emotions drive you forward in a calm and balanced manner.

15. You learn to fall in love a little less hastily. You have felt the enormous rush of dopamine that comes from being in love more than a few times, and you start to value more highly the consistency that comes from a relationship that is built over the course of time. You prefer to be able to rely on your partner always being there than needing that constant rush that comes from new love interests.

16. You know that being in love is about the actions you take, more than the feelings you have. They say “Love is more a Decision (a stand and a commitment) than a thought or a feeling. Love is shown in action than in words (expressions). You are there any time ( 24 x 7) for your closest friends and family in their moments of need. You stand by your partner when she’s going through a tough time showing her vulnerabilities. You understand that feelings are ephemeral, but the way you treat people will stick with them and you for a lifetime. The test question is “Do I love you, so I need you OR Do I need you and so I love you?” Face yourself and seek an honest answer!

17. You stop living your life based on the dreams you have for your future and start to appreciate what’s already happening in the present. No longer visualize a different life for yourself than the one you’ve already got now. You see that the life you’re living now is already the life of your dreams. What you had dreamed long ago is what you see TODAY as the magical embodiment of your infinite creative potential.Remember the saying: "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery; Today is a Gift....That is why they call it The Present".

18. You stop living your life based on the expectations of others and start developing a vision for yourself that comes from within. You understand that others may have umpteen expectations of you. They may mean well and wish you good. But you know that the best thing you can do for them as well as for you – is to live a life true to your own values, even if that means doing things people around you don’t expect you to do.

19. You know that the greatest moments of learning come from “unlearning”. You cherish the experience of letting go of an idea you once held as true and correct. You appreciate, that admitting you were wrong, creates space in your mind for something new to emerge. New ideas don’t happen unless you give up the old ones! After all only an empty open pot can be filled with!

20. Never lean towards Left or Right political ideologies, neither should you take the middle point. Instead focus on people who need your service and focus on problems we should solve together. Political parties may make less sense to you, but the political process of making the world better is still important. You can’t be a-political!

21. You don’t need people to think you’re intelligent, and instead value being able to express things clearly in ways that can be easily understood by others. You refrain from using complicated words and superfluous expressions. IQ alone is no assurance for success!

22. You are aware of the capacity of your own mind for self-deception. Resist and be honest with yourself! This self-awareness keeps you grounded and humble. It encourages you to seek feedback from others on your plans and dreams. How you value yourself is more important than how others value you! First Image, then Reputation!

23. Your spirituality makes you feel a connection with others but doesn’t make you think your beliefs are more important than theirs. You don’t feel the need to put your spiritual beliefs into words, instead simply enjoying the experience of living in a world of “the great unknown”. No one's experience is all exhaustive of the Transcendence!

24. Never shy away to share your beliefs that make the crux of your life,at the same time be sensitive to others’ beliefs with respect and tolerance. TRUTH is one and LOVE is the only way and Endless JOY is our destiny! We all may see the Divine differently, not that there is any split in Him, it is only our human experiences and expressions that are different!

25. You find fulfillment less from achieving your own goals and more from helping others achieve theirs. Human Living is not just vegetative existence; Human life is meant to create, share, enhance and enrich Life for all! Gandhi’s famous quote — “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others” — is a lamp on our path – in the journey of our life!

May your life enable and ennoble lives of many!