Managing your emotions Day 6 Sadness

“When they call to me I will answer; in time of trouble I will be with them” Ps.91:15

When were you sad last time? How did you feel when someone noticed and asked you “Why are you sad”? Invariably your answer was a quick “No! Nothing” But in fact deep down you felt comforted! Right? Sadness is one of the universal emotions experienced by everyone around the world. What causes sadness varies based on personal or cultural notions of loss or disappointment. Many of us take sadness as our weakness and we usually consider it a negative emotion. Yet sadness plays an important role in signaling that we need to receive help or comfort. Just as joys are doubled when shared, sorrow is halved too.

How do we manage sorrow then in all its wide emotional ranges? Let’s first ask what triggers sadness? Sometimes it is the rejection by a friend or some sad endings or goodbyes or sickness or death of a loved one or disappointment of some unexpected outcome! But remember there are two sides to the coin. “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs and shouts of joy” (Ps.126:5) Imagine the outcome from the other side! For instance if you have to leave your home for a job abroad, imagine the new friends you will make, places you will visit! When you are shown the door unjustly, remember your organization does not deserve you and you will soon find your new job, more fulfilling one! Even if you think your grief is deplorable, do not despair, for “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:19). Your grief need not be the end, but a beginning! Reach out to wipe the tears of someone whose grief is far more. A Chinese proverb says “I cried and cried that I had no shoes until I saw someone who had no feet!”

Sadness has also interestingly a divine element representing Jesus’ love as shown through his sorrowful death. As Jesus was in agony He prayed even more earnestly and great drops of blood formed like sweat and fell to the ground. (Lk.22:44) He did not allow his grief engulf him but surrendered it to His Father’s will towards his saving mission. Gladness, Sadness and Madness are three emotions complementing one another as the divine rays of the Holy Trinity.

I may sound mad if I say sadness is the way to gladness, as it is often said, ‘no cross, no crown’. When the apostles filled by the Holy Spirit bore witness in the Temple, they were mistaken to be mad people intoxicated. Did not the prophet Isaiah portray the suffering servant as the messianic hero for the Israel, nay the whole world? Beyond the river there awaits our Father’s blissful home where “there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the older order of things (grief) has passed away” (Rev.21:4)

Lord, give me a heart that will seek to wipe the tears of others before my own tears dry.